Blogging...with children

I'm bringing sexy back.

2012-02-09T20:16:00.000-08:00

To quote a wise singer-songwriter, actor, and former Mouseketeer, I'm bringing sexy back.

And by sexy, I mean this blog. I haven't posted since September, and although you can't tell I just counted on my fingers and it's been five months since I've blogged. Five whole months. I'm pretty disappointed in myself. As an Asian, I should not have had to use my fingers to count that. In my defense, I'm only half, so I think it's acceptable that I have sub-par math skills.

A lot has happened in five months. I've finished an entire semester, which means I'm 20/32s done with college! (It would have made more sense to say 5/8s, but I wanted to demonstrate that I am at least some-what proficient when it comes to math.) I'm in a relationship with an awesome guy who meets all my standards: he's taller than me, he watches the Office, he has great eyebrows, and most importantly he can run faster than I can. Needless to say, he's a keeper. Jerry Sandusky was reported to have sexually assaulted young men in his youth program, and the phrase "Sandusky'd" became immensely popular amongst America's youth culture. (Used in a sentence: Man, I sandusky'd that natty ice, bro!) Speaking of Jerry, I've completed one of my life goals: I've seen Jerry Springer. It was just as amazing as I've always thought it would be.

I would write more, but I have to be up early tomorrow for ROTC. Oh, the life of a cadet. AMMURCA.

Run Forrest Run

2011-09-11T18:16:00.000-07:00

After running 10k yesterday and 5k today, I can say that I'm exhausted. I can also say that I've run 15k (or 9 miles) in two days. It isn't much compared to Forrest Gump's epic marathon in Forrest Gump, but there are a lot of factors one shouldn't overlook. A) He wasn't a 5'1'' Asian girl. B) He's a fictional character. Thus, I think it's safe to assume that my feat trumps his.

I haven't posted in awhile, mostly because the semester has started and blogging has taken a backseat to getting an education. Sorry, blogspot. I promise to make you a higher priority, right above washing dishes but not quite as important as tweezing my eyebrows.

#HipsterHanna

2011-08-23T18:51:00.000-07:00

HIPSTER GOOFY GOLF!

It's official: I am super easy to creep on! You can creep on me on at at least three different social networking sites (google+, twitter¹, facebook), this blog, and of course there's the old-fashioned (but always classic) through-the-window method. Not that being more accessibly creep-able will increase the number of people that actually creep on me, but it's nice to think that it might.

This is ALSO official: I am addicted to social media!

On a more Sirius note, I had to make at least one Harry Potter allusion. It wouldn't feel right if I didn't.

¹ If you'd like to follow my twitter, I'm HipsterHanna. (Hey, that's the title of this post!) I thought it'd be more fun if I posed as a caricature of myself. Also, who doesn't love alliteration?

(Most likely but not definitely) Last Harry Potter-related blog!

2011-08-20T23:21:00.000-07:00

Tonight I realized something. Reminiscing over pictures is the equivalent of living our lives vicariously through ourselves. ANOMALY! I realized this as I was looking through pictures from my recent trip to Wizarding World of Harry Potter. As I was browsing through the album of my trip, I thought Man, butterbeer sounds great, I wish I drank butterbeer. That was, until I realized that I did drink butterbeer, and it was me in the picture. Silly me. Anyway, I don't know whether to be impressed by my discovery or saddened by how pathetically nostalgic I am. I think I'll go with both.

In all honesty, I highly encourage anyone who doesn't mind spending unbelievable amounts of money on things they don't really need to go to Wizarding World. Everything is overpriced, it's overcrowded, and it's not at all how you'd imagined Hogsmeade or Hogwarts to really be. I can't imagine a better way to live out my childhood fantasies. Did I mention the butterbeer? It really is fantastic.

Behind us you see the Hogwarts Express, and to your right you see sexy biddies.

Aforementioned butterbeer shot.

Dreary looking picture of a sign.

My future home.

I admit, the likelihood of Hogwarts being my future home is pretty low. Given the economic climate, I highly doubt I'd be able to afford such a place. But once the housing market is more reliable, I think I'll be able to purchase an affordable place, preferably in one of the towers. Can anyone say penthouse, woot woot!

You know you're Korean when...

2011-08-12T18:03:00.000-07:00

The other night, I walked into the kitchen to grab myself a midnight snack.¹As I was looking for something to eat, I noticed there were brownies that Jennifer had made. I ignored them, and promptly grabbed a bowl, which I immediately filled with rice and kimchi. It was delicious, but when given a choice between a brownie and Korean food, who thinks to themselves I think I'll go with the rice and pickled cabbage? I'll give you a hint...THIS GUY.² But it's not my fault; I'm predisposed to make decisions like that. Afterall, I'm Korean.³ Anyway, the moral of this story is YOU KNOW YOU'RE KOREAN WHEN...

As a child, instead of having normal birthday parties your mom invited all of her friends from church for bible study
You play the piano/violin/guitar/all of the above
Circle, cycle, so cool, soccer, sock, school, and sucker all sound the same
Your mother has had or does have a crazy ajuma perm
One or both of your parents are Korean⁴
You know what the word "HWIGHTING" means
You've shouted HWIGHTING, and immediately had someone echo it back
You hate when people mistake kimbap for sushi

If 8/8 of these apply to you, you're probably Korean. Congratulations! Now go celebrate the Korean way by buying yourself some soju (Korean rice wine), getting incredibly drunk at karaoke, almost getting into a fight outside of some bar, and blacking out. Actually, that's a pretty universal way to celebrate things. Do it anyway.

¹ It was actually a 2:30 snack, but that doesn't have quite the same ring to it.
² I am not a guy.
³ Half-Korean. Half AMURRCAN.
4 This one's a given.

Harry Potter and the Box Office Record for Third Highest Grossing Film of all Time*

2011-08-07T21:10:00.000-07:00

Yup, it happened. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II is the third highest grossing film of all time, surpassing Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. Come on guys, say it with me: We're number 3! We're number 3!

In other news, I started a netflix account. It is quite possibly the best decision I've ever made. Creator of netflix, if by some chance you've stumbled upon my humble blog and are reading this, I would like to thank you. Thank you for making all the seasons of Scrubs available for me to watch, thereby making the world a better place. You couldn't be more of a hero if you were say, a doctor, or a teenage boy who has the onus of saving the entire world from the Dark Lord.

Actually, that's a lie. If I ever needed an appendectomy, I'd probably go with Harry.

*Imma let you finish, but Avatar and Titanic are the highest grossing films of all time...OF ALL TIME.

My comeback.

2011-08-02T01:23:00.000-07:00

So, I have commitment phobia. (Fun fact: there is no fun word for the fear of commitment, it's just commitment phobia.) That explains why it's been so long since I've blogged; it requires too much commitment. I hate having to blog regularly, knowing that if I don't my blog is going to make me feel guilty for not "giving it enough attention." I can't use another blogging site without my blog getting jealous, and accusing me of things I haven't done (at least things I didn't do sober ;] ). Sometimes it's cute when we're together, but most of our time is spent arguing and when we're apart I forget what even drew me to my blog in the first place.

I may be underemphasizing my trip to Las Vegas as a reason for not blogging in awhile. Cue the pictures!

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Doppelgänger.

2011-07-22T23:00:00.000-07:00

Which one is me?

Today I was told that I looked like Jennette McCurdy, also known as Sam from the critically acclaimed television show iCarly. Here's why this is so interesting: this is the third time I've been told this. This is the first time, however, it was said to me by a middle-age black man. I know what you're thinking. Man, I didn't know that iCarly targeted this demographic! They must be expanding their target audience. That's what I initially thought, but it turns out he's just a father who enjoys watching Nickelodeon with his daughter. Insert obligatory "AWW."

Also, for those of you who were wondering, the picture on the left is of me. How can you tell? We have different eye colors.

This is a blog.

2011-07-20T23:59:00.000-07:00

I made some of the most astounding discoveries today. (They say you learn something new every day - well today I learned NUMEROUS things. Take that, proverbs!)

For every horcrux, there is a stage of grief.

2011-07-18T11:35:00.000-07:00

It's been one week since you looked at me...
Just kidding, that's a song.

It's been 3 days since Harry Potter premiered slash my life ended, and I'm still recovering. I've eaten nothing but junk food, I shower irregularly, and I think I've only stepped out of this house once. I was wondering why I was showing behavior akin to a teenage girl being humped and dumped by her slightly older, douchebag boyfriend, and then it dawned on me: I literally just did. (Not literally, of course. What I just did was use a metaphor.) I did, however, just end the longest relationship of my life, and I'm showing signs of grief. After much research (i.e google), I discovered that there are 7 stages of grief, ONE FOR EACH HORCRUX! I haven't gone through all the stages, but the signs are certainly there.
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It ends here.

2011-07-15T23:20:00.000-07:00

Today marked the first day of the rest of my life, a life that is no longer Harry Potter-centric. (This is actually the second first day of the rest of my life - the first was when I got an iPhone.) I picked up my first book when I was 8, and saw the first movie when I was 10. Now I'm 20, and I can say without exaggeration that I have been madly in love with Harry Potter for half of my life. Now it's over, and I feel as if I've been broken up with. Hell, I feel worse, because at least after a break up there's the possibility of calling the person and leaving a drunken, angry voice message. Now I don't even get that kind of closure. Thanks, Harry.

Until the very end.

Hanna's first blog...the sequel

2011-07-07T09:07:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile since my last blog. I suppose I was a bit hesistant to write something after the success of my last post. Two comments may not seem like a lot, but when the number of comments your blog receives outnumbers the total number of posts you have, then two is a huge number. Anyway, I digress...

There was hesitation on my part to write a second blog because it's essentially a sequel. Sequels, by definition, suck. They're fool hardy attempts to squeeze money from people who are stupid enough to believe that just because you tack on "2" or "II" at the end of a good movie means it's going to be worth watching (see: Legally Blonde 2, Charlie's Angels 2). Sometimes, the industry tries to be sly about it. Instead of adding II at the end of the film's title, making it blatantly obvious that the film is a sequel, they instead opt to insert a word into the title (see: The Next Karate Kid, Dumb and Dumberer). It almost, just ALMOST, makes it seem like an entirely new movie. (Good try, Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.) Occasionally, a good sequel will be released that manages to top the original film, but this is the exception not the rule! And this normally occurs because the sequel is so bad, it's good (see Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights).

Fortunately, my sequel isn't a highly anticipated blockbuster film. It's just a blog, and my only follower is my friend Laura Konecne. Hi Laura.

2011-06-23T09:39:00.000-07:00

Let me preface this blog with this: I do not have children. I am not married. I do not plan on either of those things happening in the foreseeable or unforeseeable future (I still have to appeal to the non-clairvoyant demographic). I don't even watch the show to which my blog title alludes. But, I do have a need to impress people and a very clever friend, which explains my blog title. We came up with some other possible titles, none of which quite made the cut.

It's Always Sunny in Hanna's Blog
Curb Your Blog
30 Blog

My personal favorite was O HAI GUIZE, but this is my first blog and I didn't want to restrict myself to feline humor. How old am I, 65?

I turn 20 in 8 days. Unfortunately, my birthday will be overshadowed by Canada's Independence Day. Thanks again, Canada, for ruining everything.